Days in the life of Jessi

When I was child home could never be a place.  I had 2 homes, one with mom and one with dad.  


As Jason and I started our lives and family very young, home was often moved around.

I remember telling Jazlyn once that home is where our family is together, it's not a place.

When we arrived in Germany, I had taken about 3 steps in the door and I saw Jason's shoes laying on the floor and I suddenly had the overwhelming feeling that I was home.

On Sept 11, 2001 Bush was a new president. Vile comments about him weren't wide spread. Jokes about his stupidity had yet to really surface. His approval rating was through the roof........most of America (myself included) supported our president, and stood united with him as our nation endured one of the greatest tragedies it has ever faced.

Our new president, Obama has only been in office the same amount of time now as Bush had been in office then. Yet the vile comments and nasty jokes about him have been circling since he stepped foot in the white house. The atmosphere around Obama now is very much the same one that surrounded Bush towards the end of his term.........not the beginning.

Bush was given a fair chance with most people. It wasn't until he proved to be screwing up that most people (myself included) starting doubting him and disapproving of him as president.

Why isn't Obama getting the same fair chance? How is it that so many hate him so much already? How can anyone be so convinced he's gonna ruin the country so early into his term? I'm not saying he's great or that I agree with everything he's doing, but I am saying he deserves a fair chance to try. I'm sure most won't believe me when I say that because I am a registered democrat..........but please know I was a McCain supporter (until he took Palin as VP at least) and I was a Bush supporter in the Gore election. I didn't start out hating Bush. I gave him a chance. I am quite hurt that America cannot give it's new president a clean start.  Everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves one way or another.

I'm not talking about disagreeing with what Obama plans and wants to do, I'm talking about the blatant hatred of him. Before I get rebutted with a comment about the widespread hatred of Bush, I will say again, Bush earned that from people.........at this point in Bush's term 8 years ago people did not hate him the way Obama is hated. Obama has not been in term long enough to have earned the hatred he is receiving. If he indeed earns this hatred of him then so be it, but I personally won't be taking anyone seriously who bashes him later down the line who is bashing him so passionately now.

As we remember such an important day in our modern history let's please try to also remember we are all Americans, most of us want the same thing: what's best for our country. America is the land of opportunity, everyone is equal here and everyone deserves the same chance.

How do you explain unwarranted suffering to a child?


Jazlyn is now 6 and going on 7 in a few months. At the tender age of 4 she was introduced to the concepts of soldier life, honor, duty, love for you country.........at the age of 5 she was introduced to war, what it is and why her Daddy was going to join it.


Now here she is at age 6......living in Germany, around a world full of history that she has yet to discover.

The most relevant history she lives around is certainly the Holocaust that took place at the hands of Nazi Germany..........and is the root reason we are living here today. You can tour some concentration camps here just like the castles.

After a lot of thought, I decided that I wanted to tell Jazlyn about the horrific events that befell Germany under Hitler. And as with the army and war I wanted to be honest with her about it. I imagined if it were me living here as a child, when I grew up and learned about WW2 and knew I had lived that close to so much history and wasn't told and didn't see it, I'd be pretty upset.

So I roughly explained to her about the Nazis and how that is a word that should never be repeated out on the economy here in Germany. And how they are the reason our soldiers are here now. But I didn't really touch on the Holocaust. I saw previews for a movie call "The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas" and thought that would be a good way to address it with her, since it gave a child's view on something so heavy.

It was a sad movie, but I was amazed at how much Jazlyn picked up on what she was watching, although there were times I had to pause and explain some to her. It was not easy. But then I remember learning about the Holocaust the first time I was about Jazlyn's age when a movie called "Schindler's List" was out. Inquiring about the movie and why I couldn't watch it is how I learned what the Holocaust was.

I plan on continuing this WW2 education with Jazlyn though so she realizes it was about more than just people dieing at the hands of the Nazi's that there was a fight, a war and that the good guys stopped the bad guys.........and that is ultimately what her Daddy's job is all about.

I am reading/hearing a lot of blame these days.

Mostly on politicians and the gov't for the state/mess our country has found itself in.


While I am no fan of many politicians and while I do feel that some have certainly created this mess. I do not feel the real fault lies in Washington DC at all........in fact I think that is a cop out and a cowardly accusation.


The fault is mine.

The fault is yours.

And that guy down the street, your neighbor, your co-workers. Everyone. Us.


Why? Because of this little document called the constitution. When it was created it gave who the power??? The people.

NOT the politicians, not Washington DC, not the media. US.

It is OUR fault we are giving our power away and letting it be abused by others. How many don't vote? How many don't put any thought or real effort into their vote?

Better yet how many don't run?

How many don't write their elected officials?

How many don't protest or don't sign petitions?

If you are not part of the solution you ARE part of the problem. Stop blaming others and see what you CAN do........and also contemplate what you would do to fix our nations problems, cause honestly I'm not sure I could, so I don't really have the right to say how bad of a job anyone is doing---I don't have any better ideas---do you?

If so---then DO something about it. Talk is cheap.

Well it is. Really.


Everywhere I look I see beauty. From the sky to the clouds, to my children, my husband and my friends.


Everything is richer and sweeter now. When you go without an important part of your life for so long and worry that piece may not return at all when it does you don't forget to stop and smell the flowers, take naps, order out and just simply enjoy being able to look at your family being whole again.


There are still moments of adjustment for all of us. Changes happen over time. When you're not together those changes are missed. It's sometimes hard to swallow that when you're faced with it in such an intimate way. Just growing pains though, and if you choose to make it so change can be good. Change is inevitable anyway so learning to make change work for you is essential to happiness in this life.

So I walk into this new beautiful phase of my life that is full of change, and well, it's just such a perfect day.

There's a saying "catch you on the flip side"


A while back.........oh say just about 8 months ago, I wrote about our D-Day, the day Jason got on a bus and started his journey to Iraq.


Well now we are on the flip side.


He is home.


He is home.


I've had a time frame for when he'd be back (end of May) for a couple months now, he was one of the last waves of soldiers to come back to Baumholder. That was tougher than I thought. I was ok with everyone else being home and him not till about memorial day weekend. He came home later that week in the middle of the night.

I knew the day was coming through the many avenues I used to get information. ;-) But nothing was better than the 'official' phone call saying he was en route to Germany and to be at the gym at 1am.

I made sure the house was pretty tidy, and that the girls looked their best in matching dresses. I had spent over a month putting together just the right outfit and curled my hair and put on my make up just right. In the middle of getting ready my cell phone rang......it was a text from Jason's cell phone saying he was now in Germany. Shortly followed by a call from him. We were texting and calling back and forth off and on until his bus pulled up to the gym.

Even though we weren't late at all it was hard to find a seat and we sat off to the side in a small set of bleachers. They had some random pump you up music playing, but once it was time for our guys they started playing "American Soldier". I have to admit it was perfect. I can't describe the feeling of joy I had watching them march in there. I couldn't even find Jason there were so many. The girls and I stood on the bleachers and I held Juli up. When they dismissed I didn't move, we had decided I would stay still and he would come to us. It took him a second but there he was walking toward me.

I don't think he has ever looked so good to me than he did in that moment. He got the girls first and grabbed them, Juli's reaction was priceless she was so excited. He then reached up and helped me walked down and gave me that meaningful look he does and he kissed me. Then we said "let's go home" we didn't stop to talk to anyone, get pictures, nothing. We got in the car and left.

Even though it was after 2am the girls stayed up for a bit showing Daddy around the house.

I was really happy to have him home, but I didn't have that magic-excitement feeling. I was just hugely relieved. Post-deployment adjustment has been a lot more than I expected, especially since r&r was like he had never left. But we are getting back on track now.

And what's really important: HE IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!

It's not.


Call me paranoid, call me scared......or tell me I'm over-reacting. But just follow OPSEC while you're calling me these things ok?


I just got a spam email one of those "I need you to move millions of $$ for me" ones. I've gotten several in various forms. The latest trend is to pose as soldiers. The one I got this morning has a guy saying he's in the first armored division in Iraq. That's Jason's division. Too close for comfort for me. These people WILL stalk all your pages to get more info, and they WILL connect the dots if you have the info out there. I'm sure they gathered Jason's division from our location and the fact that he is gone. The army has it on the web that the 1st AD is deployed to Iraq, so that's not hard to find out.

Granted this is a spammer not a terrorist, but if a spammer can do it for money, what makes people think that a terrorist won't do it for their mission "from Allah". These people are blowing themselves up to ATTEMPT to kill us! The can and WILL find you on myspace, facebook, twitter, your favorite message board.


So PLEASE remember OPSEC. It keeps our soldiers safe, YOUR solider safe, and YOU. They attacked civilians first on 9-11 and I'm sure they'd do it again.

"Loose lips sink ships" is more true than people think. And with the internet it's far easier to slip on info and far easier for the enemy to get it. We are at war, and war doesn't make life fair, need to say you're sooooo excited your man is coming home from Iraq in 8 days??? Do it on a private blog, or write it down, or hell CALL YOUR MOM. But don't put it on your myspace/facebook/twitter page ok?

In one entry I felt that I had lost Jason and I staying completely connected and that it just wasn't possible like I thought it would be.


I was wrong. No I couldn't stop the separation, and that is what I thought I could do if I just tried hard enough. His life is there, mine is here. Nothing can change that.......nothing.


However we have remained very connected. He knows all that goes on here, and I know a decent amount of what goes on with him. He is active and very involved in all major decisions I make for our family in his absence and we plan out parenting strategies together still.


Thank God for technology or this probably wouldn't be true. But I feel very connected to Jason as we are nearing the end of deployment. I'm not even nervous for him to come home. Just excited and happy.

A lot of my emotional fears over deployment have been put to rest. I doubt I will ever fear a deployment in the same way again.

I have plenty to write about.......too much honestly.


I have so much emotion and thought processing going on inside of me that I can't seem to write anything that makes sense. I can't find words that accurately describe what I'm trying to say.


They are the kind of emotions and thoughts that need a concise expression. Not senseless bumbling on and on.


And in many instances I simply can't find words strong enough. Everything feels so overused. I need a broader vocabulary lol, I'm bored with mine.


I guess that's the art of writing though eh? Accurately and efficiently conveying what you are thinking.........but when did my thoughts and emotions become so complex that I can no longer find words to really describe them?

It's frustrating.


I will just randomly that I love my husband and he becomes a more amazing person every day that I know him. I really mean that. And my girls are way too much like me LOL. They are out-smarting me with my own tricks---NO FAIR! :-p LOL

I can't wait for us to be a family again.......not much longer.

From previous entry:

"You don't know true heartbreak till you say goodbye knowing there's a chance you might not ever get to say hello again."


I wrote that only partially with my husband and his deployment day in mind (although it certainly rings true for that as well). I was mostly thinking of my family back home when I said good bye for Germany. Particularly the ones I know who don't have the best health, whose health could fail before I flew back across the ocean to say hello again.

But what I really wanted to say was:

"You don't know true sorrow until you say goodbye knowing you'll never say hello again"


Shortly after we left for Georgia I got a phone call that my paternal grandmother had a brain tumor. Sure enough her phone calls started making less and less sense. I visited for her surgery, I knew there was no beating this particular cancer.

Life moved so quickly once we had all the paperwork in place for our overseas move. There was so much to get done in such a short amount of time. We were trying to see as much family as we could as we knew we wouldn't be back for literally years. Jason and I also knew in the back of our minds that he wouldn't see them again before he deployed either. Everything swirled it was so fast before Jason got on that plane. There was so much to take care of to get him off and have straightened out so we could co-ordinate this crazy first army move from opposite sides of the world.

And he left. And I had weeks before the movers were coming. There was no more pressure everyone had been seen with him already. This was just bonus time. And it was spent well.

But as with all things there was a bad side as well, I had time for slow goodbyes. Jason got the luxury of everything being fast. I did not. Which for many cases I preferred. As with most things I embrace heartbreak when it happens, it only means there is love.

I got to see my grandmother a few times, and see her condition worsen severely in a short amount of time. In fact I left just before she could no longer coherently converse. I remember her standing in my dad's driving telling me goodbye......and I am sure most of my family is not so blessed to have that be the last memory they have of her.

As I stood there looking at her---she looked good, but I knew she didn't look like herself. I knew, I knew I'd never see her again in this life. Her mind was too gone for her to know that though. Her conversations made sense, but they didn't. Yet she still knew, the last words she shared with me told me she knew in her heart and she wasn't sad and I shouldn't be either. She had such a gift to only see the good in people and situations. To the point that it was also one of her faults at times too. I loved her so much.

There are times I just cannot imagine going home and not seeing her. Enough time has passed now that I feel like I should have called her a few times to catch up........I've caught myself picking up the phone and remembering I cannot call anymore.

She died the same week Jason left for deployment. I was in such crisis mode from the move, the deployment and then her that I was numb by that point. I couldn't go back for the services, we had just arrived. I knew she wouldn't want that.

She was by far the closet person I've ever known to God, and now she still is I'm sure.

But I miss her. I miss her talks and her opinions and her stories. She once loved a military man too, she was the only family member that truly got what it meant to send Jason away to have him come back. She is the first and only blood grandparent I have lost. She and my other grandmother were a huge part of my life growing up and that continued to my adulthood. There is so much I valued in her. I miss her. I want to tell her Jason is coming home soon. She welcomed him with open arms and a smile when most of that family wasn't so sure about him. She forever created a place for him in our family. I will both notice and remember that at any family function we attend in the future.

And I think that's what it's all about. Being remembered when you go. For those who loved you to miss you when you're gone. To be loved beyond death. That is conquering it.

The only certainty we have in this life is that it ends.

I love you Mom-mom Treece, I remember you. I miss you.

I love movie music, songs, scores.........it just seems to have so much more depth when there is a real story line attached to it........I can't fall in love with a movie that doesn't have a good soundtrack/score

One of my dream jobs would be to play in an orchestra that play movies scores.

I love Harry Potter........like to the point of obsession. From any way I look at it those books are great, and the movies do a great job so far too.


I'm a Star Wars geek. Love Yoda I do.

I'm slowly but surely becoming a wine snob........I can no longer drink super cheap tasting wine (yes now I can taste the difference)

I'm really good at decorating, just too lazy to put the effort into my own house all at once, my place is always a work in progress lol.

I'm really good at dressing people, I'm also good at doing hair and especially make up.

I think my ipod is one of best gifts I have ever gotten---thank you babe!

I talk a lot.

I also talk very fast........and when I am excited it's even faster---with lots of large hand motions.

I sometimes talk really low/mumble, I've found this usually reflects how focused/confident I am.

When I am impassioned/inspired I can make my voice carry a room easily.

I argue much better in writing, in person I get my words mixed up, writing gives me clarity.

I often come across much more direct and less deliberate in my writing than in my speaking........and sometimes that's not such a good thing.

I love my computer.........I couldn't live HAPPILY without it. lol

The slow death of tact in the world makes me sad.

Equally the depreciating appreciation for wittiness does as well.

There is nothing better in life than a good friend/companion and good conversation.

I think people should spend more time thinking in general.


I don't really have a favorite color........it changes with whatever we're talking about (like it's silver-blue for a car.......white in shirts......etc.....)


I do think that some things in life are fated to happen, but largely I believe we make our own choices and are our own path choosers.

Anything can be spun nicely..........but at the end of the day right is right and wrong is wrong, regardless of how difficult it was to determine.

I believe in personal responsibility........know yourself and have the balls to stand up and own it.

I never thought I could be happy as a housewife, but honestly I really am.

Whoever said young love cannot survive never met Jason and I.

Marriage is work........but it's the kind of work you don't mind when you think it through.......if it's too much of a chore perhaps you should rethink your marriage.


I give great advice......I do not have a PHD though and I don't want one.

I still have as strong a desire to attend law school as I did when I was 14........and I still plan on making it happen.

Potty training is tuff stuff.

Never make the mistake of telling a 6yr you know everything........cause then they truly expect you too.

I don't think I'll ever get over how we are all so different and so the same.

Magic eraser doesn't always remove coloring on walls..........sometimes it just removes the whole top layer of paint.


I like fruity/citrus scents the best.

George Washington is one of my true heroes.


Speaking of Heroes that show is awesome.


I still believe in being graceful........I hope it shows.


I think the world would be a much better place if people would just learn to smile more.


It's amazing what you can communicate without words in a language barrier situation.

People really are generally good.

Although generally a little stupid as well lol.

I've never claimed to not be ditzy, I just remind people that I'm also smart and clever..........you can't have it all lol.

What kind of childhood you had doesn't matter regardless of how good or how bad it was.........what matters is what you choose to learn from it and how you apply it to your life.

I think sometimes we should try less to teach our children and learn a little more from them instead.

There is nothing like the look on your child's face when they've missed you and you show up.

I never thought I could be more proud of another person than myself......till I had children and my husband became a soldier......suddenly I'm at the bottom of the list now.

You don't know true heartbreak till you say goodbye knowing there's a chance you might not ever get to say hello again.

Sometimes holding your head high is both the hardest thing to do but the easiest way to cope.

I think I might be dyslexic.

I think everyone should read more....books, newspapers, magazines, whatever just more.

I find it impossible to have a favorite song........or food.

Inspiration comes when you are still........no wonder it's such a stranger in our lives these days.

I actually love classroom lectures.

I still don't use the bathroom in front of my husband or vice versa......we believe in personal space........yes 7 years later we still do.

One of my favorite things about my husband is that with him not only can I be me......but I do it better.

I'm as stubbornly independent now as I was at age 2........

I love a good debate and/or argument, so know what you're getting into if you start one with me.

I often don't debate people because I feel it's unfair........to them.

Playing movie music is my fun dream.........but being a judge is my real one.

I hate spending large amounts of money........even when it's worth it, and fully justified it still makes me feel ill........every time.

I've never had brain freeze, I eat cold stuff way to slow to get it lol.

I didn't know what it meant to be understood.........until I met the man that truly understands me (though I bet he doesn't feel like he does a lot of the time lol)

I never thought my relationship with my brother would mean so much to me

Getting older really doesn't scare me nor bother me. I actually enjoy not being viewed as a child anymore.

I fear I will never be able to write a love letter good enough to encompass how much I love my husband.....but I keep trying anyway.

Watching movies really makes me miss my husband.


Something about that whole "ending" and life reflection that so many have about them that make me realize so much what is missing here. A piece of my heart just isn't where it should be. I work around that and find happiness in other places and find ways to have fun and smile. But the fact remains that part of me is missing.

That I left a huge gap of no Feb posts at all.


There is a reason for that. Jason indeed was allowed to take r&r and was home for the better part of Feb. So I had much better things to do with my time than to blog. *wink wink*

It was wonderful. Our apartment finally feels like he belongs here to, that missing piece has been found.

We did a lot of nothing but chilling out together and talking.........there was some drinking involved lol and some local sight seeing. He got the beamer in better shape for me (like I now have heat, yay!). We were just us. It was like he had never left honestly.

We bought a GPS and I have officially gotten over my fear of driving here. My next venture is to learn the language.

Life has been busy enough but not too busy, there just hasn't been much I've felt provoked to share. The goodbye from r&r was much easier than the first one was, but considering he was leaving me settled in and OK as apposed to just arriving with nothing I think that was expected lol.

We are certainly in the home stretch of the deployment now. And I'm turning my head towards upcoming plans. First spring break is coming, I am taking the girls somewhere for a few days to get away but can't quite decide where. Over the summer during block leave we will be seeing Paris, and Ireland and probably Garmish.

When you don't try to slow time down or speed it up I am finding it is your friend, it teaches you to appreciate the moment for all it's worth. Since I have started doing this in my life I have found I don't wish for things to come so quickly nor for things to end so quickly either.

But when I really want time to go by faster---I find something fun to do.

Now I've been here in Germany for over 6 months I am starting to feel settled in and like I know something about my surroundings. I now can see the differences in life here and life back home more clearly.

I'm starting to feel comfortable. Except with the language barrier---which I am working on lessening.

I must say if nothing else the Germans have humbled me in a way that I don't think I've been humbled before. I go to eat out and they give me a menu in English, most of them either know enough English to get by or have someone nearby that does. I have yet to really be required to know any real German and try to converse in it. Which is great for me. But how many times have I rolled my eyes and said "If you're in American speak ENGLISH!" how many of you have done the same thing? But the Germans don't make me feel that way at all. In fact if I am having trouble they are most of the time very helpful. I thought Europeans were suppose to be rude.......granted they aren't bubbly like we are lol, but they are kind.

I feel quite unlearned for not knowing another language and I realize how ignorant it is of me to go around thinking I only need to be able to speak English. I see how much that limits a person now. Even on the internet. There are some great sites in other languages.

I can't help but think that Americans would not be so tolerating of another nationality in their homeland. What would we do if the Germans set up a military base on the east coast in a little town and got stationed there? (I know this will never happen lol) Would that town and surrounding ones learn German and tailor their business to the Germans? Somehow I don't think that would happen. And I am so grateful that the Germans embrace us the way they do.

Well this week started out kinda icky for any Baltimore sports fan. Sniff, sniff our Ravens lost the division title to the Steelers last night. But hey we had a great season compared to the last one.......so let's just be happy for that.


Tomorrow is a very big day...........one I've been counting down to for a long time. Bush will cease to be president. As if that wasn't big enough (and come on for me---what could possibly be better than that lol) we are putting in the first (half) african-american in office. Great day. Historical day. And I'm here to see it.

I'm excited and optimistic. Onward and upward. =)

I see a lot of spouses talking about things that civilians (even though we spouses are civilians as well, at best we are only military dependents, we are not actually in the military) say that come across as offensive or annoying. There's even a list or 2 of those things floating around.

Now I've certainly had some asinine things said to me (top of my list--"Oh so are you going to Iraq with him? Are you nervous?".......um yeah I'm gonna go set up my pink tent with the other wives) but generally when someone does say something about it, they are actually attempting to show support. Given how sensitive and emotional the situation is though, many wives find a reason to be offended by it.


I appreciate any acknowledgment of what I do or go through with my kids in his absence or what he does. When someone says they couldn't do it, I just say sometimes you surprise yourself with what you can do. And accept the compliment. But the one thing anyone can say that is fool proof in the offense department to a military is wife is the same thing many decide to say to our guys in uniform, but rarely ever us---THANK YOU.

I don't ever expect anyone to thank me. I don't do it for any kind of recognition I do it because I believe in making a difference and doing my part, but mostly I do it because I love my husband and he's a soldier. Many wives just happened to fall in love with a soldier.......I guess in a way I did, but unlike many the army was an equal decision with my husband. I don't feel I stumbled into this life, I chose it along with him as the best path for him, us and our family. I have yet to truly regret it.

So those are my thoughts on comments to military spouses. Be careful what you say lol.

Christmas 2008.

Christmas is a time to reflect on the past year and count our blessings and to show appreciation to our loved ones.

Christmas is a time for family and friends. It's a time for staying up too late, trying to get too much done, eating too much, and enjoying craziness in our lives.

For those of us away from home, away from family and friends, sons, brothers, and most of all husbands. Christmas can be a time of sadness. It's hard to feel all of the things that Christmas is when you have the most important components missing from your life, due to distance.


It's a strong reminder that Christmas truly isn't about the gifts.


I tried thinking of Christmas on a bigger scale. What it means to everyone and not just what it means in my life........Christmas is about being together and celebrating and being thankful and appreciating one another. Of course we'd rather this be spent with people whom are near and dear to our hearts. However in many situations it's just not possible. And it's important to accept that. All the tears, sadness and crushed spirits won't change the circumstances.

In my family we have a saying (as many people do) "love the one your with" I want to be with my husband and my family but I cannot. However there are other people in my life I can be with.......Christmas is a holiday that isn't meant to be spent alone. Find comfort in the people around you, find joy in togetherness, no matter who it is with. We don't have to know others well to have kindred spirits. As humans our strength lies in our relationships and ability to communicate, we are not meant to be alone.

This is also important to remember for our soldiers. Many of them that are deployed will have games and such organized with their fellow soldiers. It is important that they enjoy each others company as well. As anything in life, Christmas away from home can be what you make of it. I'd by lying if I tried to say I don't feel an extra sad ping in my heart going through Christmas without Jason. I do and I find that I am missing him even more these days. However being sad won't change the way things are. Christmas is still a holiday and a time for celebration and counting our blessings.

I am blessed to have people in my life to miss the way I do, I am blessed to know love in the abundance that I do. I am also blessed with the opportunity to spend my Christmas with friends that otherwise would be alone as well. We are never really alone unless we choose to be. I am determined to make this Christmas fun and memorable. I cannot make it what we are used to so I won't bother trying. Instead I am trying to make it different and nice in it's own way. Appreciating what it is instead of mourning what it could/should be.

I hope all of you without your loved ones can find a reason to smile today and tomorrow and steal away a moment or two to appreciate all you have in your life, even the absence of loved ones, you have to love and be loved to miss someone and that it self is worth being thankful for.

Here is how my Thanksgiving day went.

I literally didn't make solid plans for Thanksgiving until early this week.


I had many options, but none of them just really felt right, or were gonna work out well for me and the girls.

I have a deployment buddy--Mel (now deemed my battle buddy)

And she was gonna do a small dinner alone with just her and her girls. And I couldn't have that. So I figured we could go over and I'd help her out......then she suggested that we just go to the DFAC, no mess, cheaper, and out of the house. Splendid idea. Talking to another friend, she was going to the DFAC too, so we decided to all meet up at the same time and go together. So we did and we got there, to meet a huge line. Not really what I was expecting at noon, we had 2 toddlers in tow and I could just see the whole event being stressful.


So we bagged it, and got in our cars.........thought the commissary was open---but we were wrong, so we decided to try to go to a German restaurant in town (since it wasn't a German holiday) but it was too early for it to be open I guess and it was closed too. So then we take our little convoy to the German market and bought stuff to make salad and lasagna, Mel already had a sweet potato pie at home she had made.

We gathered at my (messy) house to cook and let the kids run around.

It was fabulous! We drank cappuccino while we cooked, and had some gluwhein with dinner. Lots of laughs and good conversation.

We are all now looking forward to Christmas.

Well it's here, the first snow fall of the season. Not much but enough to turn the world white. For the first time in years I can "feel" Christmas coming. Touch of sad because Jason's gone, but honestly I am excited at how fast the landscape changed around me from summer to winter.....the sooner winter is here and over the sooner he'll be back. I literally stood and watched it snow outside my window last night for a long time and smiled thinking about how it just meant we are that much closer.


I look at Christmas this year as a chance for me to show the girls how to make lemonade. A vital life skill I think. We have lots of lemons this year (metaphorically speaking of course) and it would be all to easy to be sour about it. But being sour about it won't change it. So let's smile and add some sweet to that sour and make it a good thing. I'm sure they won't get the lesson now.....but in time they will. Our children learn by our actions and attitudes more than any lecture, or instruction we ever give them........I know this because I was once a child myself, and I remember what taught me life's important lessons and what did not.


This will not be a big to do Christmas in the least. It will be simple, understated and meaningful. We've had a lot of Christmas's of too much of everything, food, presents, family......and you can't really have too much love lol. It's hard to avoid having too much for the holidays when you have as much family as we do, I'm not saying it was a bad thing at all. But this year I can teach the girls that Christmas can be just as great and exciting without those things as well.

I am gonna miss the stolen moments with Jason this year........like early morning black friday shopping.......plotting where to stash the gifts and wrapping presents together and setting it all up. I love that "we're a team" feeling I get with him during the holidays, and how he always manages to get me something that I really wanted, and me finding something thoughtful for him. But so far I've shared all my strategies with him as far as what gifts to buy and how I'm gonna sneak them in, hide them and wrap them, and in his logic he helps me come up with solutions, we shop online together for them. Still a team.

Oh and in a random update, I have a car!! I got a great deal on a BMW, it's not brand new and perfect, but it's in good condition, has 4 doors and is pretty. :) I'm very thankful that I'm not walking anymore as it's gotten quite cold and windy.

**I didn't write this, I totally stole it lol**


What is a MILITARY Wife?
They may look different and each is wonderfully unique, but this what they have in common.
They have THIS IN COMMON!
Lots of moving--- Moving.
Moving.
Moving far from home.
Moving two cars, three kids and one dog----all riding with HER of course.
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house.
Moving curtains that won't fit.
Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends, moving toward new friends.
Moving her most important luggage; her trunkful of memories.
Often waiting-
Waiting, waiting, waiting for housing; waiting for orders; waiting for deployment; waiting for reunion; waiting for phones calls; Waiting for the new curtains to arrive; waiting for him to come home for dinner----AGAIN!
They call her 'military dependent', but she knows better.
She can balance a checkbook.
Handle the yard work.
Fix a noisy toilet.
She is intimately familiar with drywall, anchors, and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move, -- all with ONE Power of Attorney.
She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
Reinvents her career with every PCS; locates a house in the desert, the arctic, or the deep south and learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.
She is fiercely IN-dependent.
Military Wives are somewhat hasty.
They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career alternatives, churches and friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and Perennials for those who come after them.
Military Wives quickly learn to value each other.
They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network and accept offers of friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil.
Military Wives have a common bond.
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands his commitment is unique. He doesn't have a job, he has a 'mission' he can't just decide to quit he's on-call for his country 24/7 but for you, he's the most unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign:
TDY PCS OPR ACC BDU
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long-distance link to keep them informed the glue that holds them together.
Military Wife has her moments----
She wants to wring his neck, dye his uniform pink, and refuse to move to Siberia.
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days, a travel brochure, a long hot bath, a pledge to the flag, and a wedding picture.
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.
Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man...
Who puts duty first.
Who longs to deploy.
Who salutes the flag.
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military husband,
She will remain his Military wife.